Drudge linked to an article in the New York Observer about some feminist named Erica Jong. I was interested due to the title:
"Erica Jong Tells Italians Obama Loss 'Will Spark the Second American Civil War. Blood Will Run in the Streets'"

I, too, believe there will be violence by the deranged left if The One is not elected. I have already pointed out examples of Liberal Rage Syndrome, and there are more. But what does it tell you about the left that they are willing to turn to violence if they can't get their way at the voting booth?

Regardless, I am here to tell you that there won't be any "second Civil War". First, it would make a complete mockery of all those "war is not the answer" bumper stickers. But more importantly, there is the question of armament. What are the libs going to attack with? Hot lattes? Are they going to figure out how to convert a Prius to a tank? Can you imagine your average vegetarian teachers union member going up against a shotgun and buck knife equipped conservative from Texas or Tennessee? That "war" would be over before it began.

What I love most about the article are the quotes from Ms. Jong:

"The record shows that voting machines in America are rigged."
What record? And has she heard of ACORN? Or is she talking about Daley's Chicago? Who knows!

"My friends Ken Follett and Susan Cheever are extremely worried. Naomi Wolf calls me every day. Yesterday, Jane Fonda sent me an email to tell me that she cried all night and can't cure her ailing back for all the stress that has reduces her to a bundle of nerves."
I hate to hear Follett is a lib, but hearing that Jane Fonda is a bundle of nerves brings me a bit of twisted pleasure.

"My back is also suffering from spasms, so much so that I had to see an acupuncturist and get prescriptions for Valium."
So liberals are so weak minded that the mere possibility that The One-Whose-Middle-Name-Must-Not-Be-Mentioned might not win the election is causing back problems? Get a grip!

"After having stolen the last two elections, the Republican Mafia…"
Ahh, yes, the tin-foil hat is firmly in place now.

"If Obama loses it will spark the second American Civil War. Blood will run in the streets, believe me. And it's not a coincidence that President Bush recalled soldiers from Iraq for Dick Cheney to lead against American citizens in the streets."
Can you believe this? Libs were demanding that troops come home from Iraq. Because we've won, some troops have been brought home,. But wait, the real reason was to prepare for an inevitable civil war! That boggles the mind. And this woman is considered an intellectual in the liberal community? Yikes.

"Bush has transformed America into a police state, from torture to the imprisonment of reporters, to the Patriot Act."
I absolutely love this. Remind me again, which campaign just kicked reporters off the campaign plane since they work for newspapers that had the temerity to endorse McCain? And is she referring to the Patriot Act that passed the Senate 99-1? That evil Bush! He must have rigged the Senate voting machine!

Very amusing stuff. I have to thank Ms. Jong for making my Friday.

An old southern country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.

One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:

- a Bible,

- a silver dollar,

- a bottle of whiskey and

- a Playboy magazine

"I'll just hide behind the door," the old preacher said to himself, "and when he comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see which object he picks up. If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a businessman, and that would be okay, too. But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunkard, and, Lord, what a shame that would be. And worst of all, if he picks up that magazine, he's gonna be a skirt-chasin' bum."

The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.
Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink while he admired this month's Centerfold.

"Lord have mercy," the old preacher disgustedly whispered, "he's gonna be a Congressman!"

After President Bush fell off a Segway on his first ride, Piers Morgan, editor of the Daily Mirror, ran the headline "You'd have to be an idiot to fall off, wouldn't you Mr President." He added: "If anyone can make a pig's ear of riding a sophisticated, self-balancing machine like this, Dubya can."

As Powerline reminds us, "The wheels of justice grind slowly, it is said, but they grind exceedingly fine." So what happened when Morgan finally had his first ride on a Segway? He fell off, cracking three ribs.

I hate to see anybody get injured, but I sure don't mind seeing a Bush-hater get his comeuppance.

Miss Teen South Carolina attempts to answer a question.

Wow.

I sometimes think I was born in the wrong era. I love the 40's and 50's, or at least the image we see of it on old TV shows like Leave It to Beaver and Father Knows Best. However, this old Folgers commercial is also a reminder how far we've come (although the wife's mousiness is hilarious!).

Author unknown, but I love it.

Some Guinness was spilt on the bar-room floor
        Just around closing one night,
And a wee little mousie crept out of his hole
        And into the pale moonlight.
He lapped up all of that dark frothy brew
        And back on his haunches he sat,
And all the night long you could hear that mouse roar,
          "Bring on that god-damned cat!"

I love good pun jokes. The best ones don't require lengthy setups. To wit:

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Another:

A man wanted to invest in Irish real estate. He planned on Dublin his money.

Also, they have to be good enough to produces audible groans at end. A classic:

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Hahaha!

I was cleaning up some old computer files and came across this picture. I can't remember where I got it. It had a caption that read something like, "OK, just one more round and then we'll go."

Yes, this is dated, but it's so funny I had to post it anyway. The Oracle Al Gore's phenomal energy usage at his mansion is well-documented. Some attribute the hypocrisy not to obliviousness, but to Narcisstic Personality Disorder. I don't buy that. I think he simply loves the spotlight and the adoration of his acolytes. He'd actually be a funny, harmless phenomenon if so many people weren't buying into his doomsaying. I post more on global warming later.